Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

 I’ve done it! After ten years of agony, I’ve finally done it. I made the decision that will change my life forever. I have to admit it, though, I’m quite surprised with the pleasure it has given me. I never thought I was capable of such a thing, but desperate people sometimes take desperate measures, and I was desperate, I was worn out.

When I decided to marry Henry, I knew it wouldn’t be easy, I always knew I wasn’t the motherly type, I was never good with children, I thought they were loud, annoying, they were usually careless with their personal hygiene, they could not carry a logical conversation, they were always on the way, they don’t like me and I don’t like them. God is indeed very wise and made me dry inside, I cannot bear a child, and I’m quite happy with it. But then I thought, it’s a girl, they usually behave better, maybe I can win her over and have her as my little server, and it might be quite sweet, actually. I like Henry, he is rich, and I will finally have everything I want. You see, I come from a good family, we have some money, but my inheritance isn’t very significant, we have no name. My only hope was my looks and on that, I can definitely count on, yes I still can, ten years on, and I look as stunning as I did then, maybe even better.

Well, I tried, but the little brat didn’t like me from the start. When Henry introduced us, I gave her an adorable clay doll, I had made for her, she broke it, she looked at me and said, you are not my mother and she broke it. Of course I’m not your mother, I said, but we can be friends! But I want my mummy! She cried and left. What could I do?  Her mother was dead, she had been dead for 5 years.

After that, she would have a tantrum every time she saw me with her dad, He’s my husband for God’s sake! And every time it would be something else, and I grew tired. I tried to keep out of her way, she did the same. She hated the fact that Henry was crazy about me, she couldn’t accept he’d rather spend time with his beautiful young wife, than with a little annoying brat.

It was her sixteenth birthday two days ago, I gave her a lovely dress, black and discreet, perfect for a young girl. At the ball, she wore a different dress, when I asked where she got it from, she smiled at me, no, she grimed at me and said “It’s my mother’s”. And suddenly I realized I wasn’t turning heads anymore, she was. When did that happen? How could they adore that little monster? Henry, who during the past few years barely acknowledge her existence danced with her. And how proud he looked.

I left, went to my bedroom e looked in the mirror, I was beautiful, my hair was still fair and naturaly waivy, I didn’t have any lines on my face, my skin was fair and velvet like. Then I saw her face, she was behind me, looking at my reflection, her bright blue eyes analising me, I turned around and she held my hand, let’s be friends, she said. I stepped back, like she was stabbing me. I wasn’t sure of what to think, how to react. “Why now?”I said, she smiled and shrugged, “Why not?”.

I couldn’t, I just couldn’t switch my fellings, I loathed her. I know what this was about, and I can’t play anymore. I can’t just go along. Oh, she just made me realize how much I hate her, and I don’t want her around. But I smiled back, said “yes, of course”. Told her I wasn’t feeling well and led her out of my room.

It was then that I made my decision. I had her killed. I had one of my servers do it. Of course he wouldn’t do it just like that, keep it in secrecy… I made sure he would be well tied to me, and I brought him to my bed, I made him swear he would do anything I wanted. A woman can make a man do anything, if she puts her mind into it, and her thighs in this specific case.

He brought me her heart. It was wrapped on his scarf. And tonight we had stew, her father was worried, about her, I told him she would be back soon. She was probably on her way, lost track of time. He ate it. He ate his little girl’s heart. And I have to say, it was delicious.